Stuff Students Say

Closing the Teach For America Blogging Gap
Sep 21 2011

Things that I wish would go away, please.

-Spitballs. So. many. spitballs. All over my stuff. On my desk. On many of my children and their desks. Everywhere on the floor. And yep, I took one to the back of my head and it got stuck in my hair. It must be some obscure law of the universe that I will never be able to catch a child actually in the act of making or launching a spitball, and yet they will blanket my room by the end of the day. Honestly don’t understand how this is physically possible.

-Stealing. So. much. stealing. Down to three red grading pens after 2 weeks. Also missing: countless pencils, half a bag of cough drops, a full bag of candy that was in the bottom of my desk under stacks of folders, and half of the jumbo pack of Mentos intended for a Diet Coke + Mentos science demonstration (hidden inside a bag, in the back of one of my cabinets).

-Preteen love drama. Today I confiscated at least 5 different ranked lists of most of the girls and boys in the sixth grade. I now know which lucky gentlemen are most likely to be “hugged for 30 sec,” “kissed on the cheek for 5 sec,” “dated for 1 minute,” or “punched.” ┬áRanking methodology still unclear.

-Papers, papers and more papers. The amount of paperwork that I accumulate in a week’s time is actually unreal. I think I have enough stacks of ungraded papers in my room right now to heat my apartment for the winter…and I live in Minnesota. I try to alternate between the opposite strategies of furiously grading like no tomorrow, and closing my eyes and pretending that I could just throw all the stacks in a gigantic recycling bin and forget about them.

-In-class lunch. Whoever came up with the concept of “let’s have all the students eat pizza and carrot sticks for lunch in their classrooms every Friday and put teachers in charge of lunch distribution and clean-up” was obviously deranged. And evil. Very, very evil.

6 Responses

  1. Ms. D

    Hey – probably not the best advice.. but I threw away stacks of paper yesterday because there was no sense in me killing myself to grade their papers when most of it was only half correct. Now all I grade are exit tickets. :)

    • alwaysawildcat

      Thanks for the comment- and I think that is really good advice! I’m realizing that it’s just not possible to keep up with every single paper that my students submit, and as long as I just keep track of whether or not they are doing their homework, I can get the actual data I need from just the exit slips.

  2. Kurt (Community Manager)

    Congratulations! Your post was featured on the Teach For Us homepage.

  3. Tia

    I love that you find humor in a bad situation. Hang in there. As a TFA interestee, you give me hope.

  4. KCMO Chief

    STEALING. OHMYGOSH. I have never had so many things stolen from me. I am so over it. I cannot even lock my classroom because my key was stolen. :(

    • alwaysawildcat

      It’s driving me nuts! I have no way to lock my desk or classroom, so I can’t figure out how to stop it. It’s not like I would keep anything valuable here, but all the stolen school supplies, candy prizes, science materials, etc. are really starting to add up…

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I used to be a journalist. Now I just quote students.

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